


North Star

by XeniavanHausen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheating, Committed Relationship, Established Relationship, M/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:51:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XeniavanHausen/pseuds/XeniavanHausen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shine, like the North Star, and guide me home.<br/>No matter my journey, you are my final destination.</p><p>(Levi-centric)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This will be weird. It's more of an exploration of relationship dynamics for myself, really. Ultimately, this will be Erwin/Levi, but that doesn't mean the Eren/Levi parts are going to be filler and plot device. No. They have a legitimate bond between them, which is the defining point of this story for me. 
> 
> Please be aware that I will not diminish one relationship because of another; so if you cannot stand one pairing over another, this will not be a good read for you. Even so, I request that you do give this story a try and tell me if it does help you perceive relationships in a different manner.

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Forever is silly, I once said, but you only smiled and wrapped my fingers around that bouquet of forget-me-nots._

_Because, you later told me, forever is what you’ll try for me._

          “Congratulations,” Levi murmured, a smirk in his voice as he carded his slim fingers through Erwin’s slicked, blond hair, “Mr. Smith.” He snaked his other arm over one of Erwin’s broad shoulders, around the back of his neck, and onto his other shoulder, rubbing gently down the curve to his biceps, squeezing lightly, teasingly.

            He snuggled himself more comfortably into Erwin’s lap, sideways, his legs hanging off across one thigh as he pressed himself closer into Erwin, smiling mischievously up at him. His eyes were unwavering, and Erwin’s peered right back at him, those harsh blue eyes daring Levi to continue with what he’s doing, challenging Levi to tempt Erwin even more and see what will happen.

            They hadn’t seen each other in weeks, and Levi was ready to take Erwin on that challenge and throw some back at him in return, because he had missed Erwin’s touch for so long that he had half a mind to provoke Erwin into roughing him up tonight, just to remind Levi of the things that Erwin could do to him—the things that he _had_ done to him.

            The corner of Levi’s lips curled into a hint of a smirk as he held back a shiver, and his arms tightened around Erwin, pulling him closer, until their noses were millimeters apart, their breaths mingling in hot shallow puffs, as Erwin rubbed a large palm nonchalantly up and down Levi’s waist, curling his fingers to press into his back.

            Erwin smiled down at him then, and Levi caught a quick glimpse of it before his eyes shut to the demanding kiss that Erwin was stealing from his lips, a harsh nip to his skin before a strong push of Erwin’s tongue slipped it inside his mouth, a quiet moan rising from the bottom of Levi’s throat as he let Erwin take control, let Erwin kiss him however he wanted, let Erwin demand whatever he wanted from Levi. His fingers dug into the crevice under the bone of Erwin’s shoulder, gripping tightly as he tried to gasp in air between the sucks and licks Erwin was giving him.

            They broke apart only when Levi clutched on so tightly that it started to hurt, a silent cue to Erwin that he really needed to breathe. Knocking their foreheads together, Levi could hear the heavy panting between the two of them, chests rising and falling deeply as they caught their breaths. Erwin’s other hand trailed down to Levi’s thigh, caressing it lightly over his dark denim and squeezing once when he returned to the area right before he reached Levi’s ass.

            “Thank you,” Erwin whispered, tilting his chin forward for an innocent kiss. He pressed their mouths together, and lingered there for a few long seconds, before pulling back. Levi wished he’d just stay right there. It had been weeks, after all, since they last saw each other. Levi swore he was about to forget Erwin’s taste, about to forget the texture of his slightly chapped lips, about to forget the firm pressure of his mouth against Levi’s.

            Levi closed his eyes and leaned his face heavily into Erwin’s hand when he started caressing his cheek, listening to Erwin speak quietly, as if this was only between them, a quiet little secret only for Levi to hear, spoken solely for Levi and no one else. And perhaps that truly was the case. Erwin always enjoyed treating Levi as if he was the only person who mattered in his life—only when they’re together, though. Sometimes, Levi wondered if it was simply his style, his way of enchanting Levi so that he’d stay, because his actions when they were apart indicated otherwise. Levi rarely got more than a quick text, and rarely received any plans to get together until Erwin thought his work was done in every sense of the word. And even then, that was rare.

            “I’m flying over to Europe in a few days. I’ll call you when I’m back.”

            Levi freezes at the words, feeling his heart sink at the thought that he won’t be seeing Erwin for a long while again. It’d been this way lately, after Erwin started rising in his company to senior manager and now a business executive. Levi turned his head away, staring at nothing in particular as he let the words sink in. He needed to wait. He had to, because it was no use making Erwin feel as if Levi wasn’t as happy with Erwin’s promotion as he was. It just so happened that it also meant less time for them to be together, and Levi supposed it couldn’t be helped; that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel disheartened about it, though.

            “Levi?” Erwin asked, gently trying to tilt his boyfriend’s face back to him, and he gave up trying when Levi didn’t turn to his soft nudge. He leaned in and gave him a soft peck to the back of his jaw. “Sorry. I’ll come see you when I can. Promise.”

            Levi remained still, thinking it all over, trying to calm himself and quell the rising irritation. He finally sighed and turned back to Erwin, leaning into him and nuzzling his head into the underside of Erwin’s chin. It couldn’t be helped, he repeated in his mind. It couldn’t be helped.

            His hand blindly searched for Erwin’s, who made the quest easier by threading their fingers together in a firm hold, brushing his nose against Levi’s bangs before placing a soft kiss to his forehead.

            The gesture brought an ache to Levi’s heart, clenching tightly in pain with a sting, travelling into his hand as it clutched onto Erwin’s. Levi took a shuddering breath, reminding himself again that he shouldn’t wish for so much, that he should stop acting like a girlfriend who had nothing better to do than wait for her boyfriend to come home, so he nodded his head to Erwin.

            Levi couldn’t see the soft smile on Erwin’s lips, but he heard him murmur, “Thanks.” Erwin paused, seemingly hesitant for a second, before continuing, “I’ll be on the other side of the US after that, too.” He pressed another kiss to Levi’s forehead in apology. “Sorry.”

            Sighing dejectedly, Levi peeled himself off of Erwin, not looking into his eyes until he tugged at his hand, prompting him to stand, and then he turned around to press his cheek to Erwin’s chest.

Erwin quickly and easily wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist, pulling him in close. They’d been apart for quite a while now, with Erwin rarely having any spare time at all as he tried to settle in his job and manage everything the way he wanted. Levi had been entirely patient with him, and Erwin wanted to repay him for that and thank him for all of it. Levi had never complained to him, but Erwin knew he couldn’t be happy with any of this. Placing another kiss to the crown of Levi’s head, Erwin murmured, “Let’s go to bed.”

            Levi only nodded, tightening his grip on Erwin, who smiled and hefted Levi into his arms, kissing him again before bringing them to his bedroom. 


	2. Chapter 1 (Part I - Unfaithful)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of a fall Levi did not expect.
> 
> My eyes never waver, but something else is vying for my attention.  
> Oh, please don't take my light away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part I – Unfaithful
> 
> This story will be in three parts (varying amount of chapters), with a prologue and epilogue.

* * *

_It happened before I knew it, and I was trying to remember you before I lost my mind._

            Jean Kirschstein was quite the star nowadays. In the midst of ordering everyone around to set everything up so that they could have more than one run-through tonight, Levi noticed how Jean, with his charismatic laughter and welcoming aura, really was quite nervous to be on stage. A corner of Levi’s lips tugged upward in amusement before he pursed his lips together and hurried to the technicians in the equipment room, making sure they’d set everything up and knew the schedule for tomorrow.

            That entire morning had been hectic like this, with Levi running around and going through his mind again and again in hopes of doing everything he needed to. When he glanced up, he spotted Jean with his two friends, who seemed to stay backstage with him whenever he performed, and Levi focused on the tuft of brown hair and the lanky posture of Eren Yeager.

            They met a week earlier, when Levi was introduced to the popular Kirschstein and then subsequently to Eren and Armin Arlert. It was peculiar how Kirschstein and Yeager bickered almost every time Levi saw them together, and yet they also seemed the best of friends. Then again, it was probably beneficial to the rising singer to have people anchoring him to reality; Levi had seen many ruined by fame and lost precious relationships. Levi found it interesting, and perhaps that was one reason why he enjoyed this business, managing events so that he could stay in the background but be important enough to hold some of the reins. He cared not for what those people did, but he had always been intrigued by how easily people changed by circumstance.

            After confirming once more with his lights crew, Levi left the preparations to them and trudged his way over to the trio, and unsurprisingly, Eren was the first to perk up and notice him coming over. The boy was friendly—almost overly so—since their initial meeting. There was something about the way those eyes light up whenever he talked to Levi that made the latter feel relaxed and less uptight, even when he was in the middle of work, hurrying around the entire location to ensure everything was on time.

            “Levi!” Eren was waving him over.

            “Hello,” he said once he was within range, stepping into their haphazard circle. 

            Jean and Armin stopped talking, turning in Levi’s direction with a peculiar gaze in their eyes, which Levi ignored. For now.

            “So you two are here today, again,” Levi commented, mainly because he doesn’t have anything else to say. Perhaps his tone was too dry, even if it was his usual way of speech, but Eren evidently deflated as his shoulders slumped somewhat and he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Levi saw out of the corner of his eye.

            “Sorry,” he heard Eren mumble, “are we in the way?”

            Somehow, the sight of Eren dejected didn’t sit well with Levi. While the boy’s energy was overwhelming at times, draining Levi of his, it didn’t suit Eren to be mellow. Even if Levi only knew him for a week. But perhaps that was a main reason _why_ it didn’t seem right; all Levi knew of Eren was that he was an enthusiastic kid, and Levi probably would never admit it, but Eren was refreshing.

            Levi glanced at Jean, who maintained a neutral expression as Armin seemed a little nervous in Levi’s presence.

            “No,” Levi said, voice the same as ever. “You’re not. Just stay where you are and don’t bother the staff.”

            He looked into Eren’s eyes then, saw the flinch of shock before the boy nodded, a smile coming back onto his face before he said, “Yes, sir!”

            Levi went on his way, after informing Jean of when he was to be on stage in the schedule and what else he was booked for, before heading off to check on the other departments. In the corner of his eye, he noticed Jean thumping Eren on the back with a mischievous smile on his face as Eren scrunched his shoulders, his brows furrowed angrily. Levi wondered what Jean was saying to get an expression like _that_ on the boy’s face.

* * *

             The preparations went well, albeit hectically, and Levi had sent away his staff as he deemed that he could do some final checks by himself that night. Slumping into one of the folding chairs across from the stage, Levi sighed and pulled out his phone, a soft smile spreading his lips as he saw Erwin’s name across the middle: a text notification. It was over an hour ago, and Levi grimaced at how late he was.

            [[Just done with a meeting. Coming back next week. Busy?]]

            Again, he heart sunk and rose with each sentence Erwin sent him, informing Levi that he wouldn’t be back and then asking about him. Levi glared at his phone, refusing to let the smile return because he _wanted_ to be mad at Erwin, _wanted_ to act bratty and make Erwin pay him a little more attention these days, but he knew it was no use and would probably just make matters worse. He could wait for Erwin. He never needed someone else with him, so he could survive without seeing Erwin. But then again, was it a matter of need, or desire?

            Levi’s reply was at the tips of his fingers before a voice spoke somewhere to his side, and Levi jumped in surprise, clutching his phone tightly in one hand.

            “I thought you were leaving,” Eren said, walking over and hiking himself onto the stage in a fluid motion, swinging his legs once he sat down.

            Levi stared, shocked, and finally released an irritated breath. “Jesus Christ, Eren. Weren’t you supposed to be with Kirschstein?” He ran a hand through his hair, sinking back into the uncomfortable chair as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

            Eren shrugged nonchalantly, his legs still swinging beneath him as he gazed to the side before turning back to Levi. It was dark by now, so Levi had a hard time making out his face.

            “I don’t have anything better to do, so I thought you might need some help.”

            “It’s okay. Go home.”

            Levi waited for Eren to listen, to get off the stage and leave, but the boy remained right where he was, his swinging legs making Levi grow irritated, until Levi stood up with a huff and said, “Don’t blame me when your mom yells.”

            With that, Levi turns to grab his binder to walk through the location once more, checking off everything that he’d written down that needed to be there.

            Behind him, he heard Eren’s indignant cry.

            “I’m _nineteen_ , for God’s sake!”

            Levi couldn’t hold back the smirk on his face, and he heard a thump on the ground, most likely of Eren jumping off the stage.

            “Still a kid,” he said at his usual volume, and suddenly Eren was right beside him, his hands stuffed inside his jacket.

            “Am not.” Eren huffed beside him, and when Levi twisted his head to the side and looked up, the boy had a hint of a pout on his lips and Levi found himself growing amused.

            “If you insist,” he said, continuing with his last check that night, ignoring Eren’s presence easily.

            Once he was done, back to where he started and where his belongings were, Eren was still right behind him and Levi raised a brow before he turned and asked, “Are you that bored?”

            “Huh?”

            Levi seemed to have caught Eren off-guard, or unprepared, whichever one.

            “To follow me around. Are you that bored?”

            Eren shuffled his feet, and Levi had to wonder why he was so nervous around him all the time. He supposed he was intimidating to some, as he was informed before. Erwin said the same thing. That Levi had a presence that demanded his words be listened to and trusted.

           Levi had joked then, back at Erwin, and asked why _he_ wasn’t afraid of Levi, and why _he_ didn’t listen to him, if he was so authoritative. Erwin only chuckled and leaned in for a kiss, murmuring against his skin about how he couldn’t be scared, or else he couldn’t win Levi over. What kind of partner would he be, he’d said, if he couldn’t see Levi for who he was?

            “Levi?”

            He looked up at Eren, pulled back to reality, having forgotten about Eren as he lost himself in his thoughts again.

            “Yeah?”

            “You’re smiling.”

            The remnants of his smile was quickly wiped off of Levi’s face, and he gathered up his materials hastily before brushing aside the comment and asking, “You hungry? We can grab some food and I’ll drop you home.”

            Eren’s eyes lit up at his words, and Levi swore he could see the sparkle in them even in the darkness of the night.

            “Yeah, sounds great!” he piped, and Levi raised his brows at him, intrigued at his reaction, and motioned for him to follow him to his car.

            Despite Eren’s enthusiastic agreement to dinner, they ate their sandwiches in silence. For one, Levi never was a conversationalist. It worked well with Erwin, since the man actually liked the quiet whenever he was with Levi, and surprisingly, they were a lot more physical than verbal. Whenever they were in the car together, Erwin would have a hand resting on Levi’s thigh, his thumb stroking lightly at times while Levi leaned into the headrest and closed his eyes. He’d look over sometimes, and smile gently at Levi’s questioning gaze, before turning his eyes back on the road once the lights turned green.

            Or, Levi would thread their fingers together, interlacing them against each other and playing with Erwin’s larger digits between his slimmer ones, pressing the pads of their thumbs together until Erwin let out a short laugh, which earned him a glare from Levi. If that happened, Erwin would pull Levi in for a kiss by the underside of his chin, and murmur how cute he was before stepping out quickly to escape from Levi’s flustered punch.

            It seemed Erwin was the only one who could bring that side out of Levi, his desire to be as close as he could with Erwin, his clingy tendencies that annoy Levi whenever he noticed them. Erwin didn’t seem to mind, given that he teased Levi for it most of the time. Even so. Levi didn’t like it.

            “Ah, turn right here,” Eren said, pointing to the intersection in front of them and bringing Levi back to what he was doing—driving Eren home.

            They were silent for most of the drive, and Levi wasn’t surprised. Eren seemed to grow nervous at random times whenever he was in Levi’s presence, and Levi hoped it wasn’t because the boy was afraid of him. Then Levi remembered how Eren seemed to follow him around whenever he saw him, so he told himself not to worry too much.

            “It’s that house with the two cars in front.”

            Levi pulled up, parking his car as Eren fumbled with the seat belt, opened the door, and with one foot outside, he twisted in his seat and peered back at Levi. He leaned in slightly, then stopped, and Levi remained still, right where he was, as Eren stared at him, seemingly fumbling with his words, before rushing out, “Thanks. For the food. And the ride.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            Eren stared at him a few more seconds, his face contorted into an expression Levi didn’t quite understand before he nodded and closed the door shut, hurrying to his front door.

            Levi pretended that he didn’t notice how Eren’s eyes fell on his lips for a second there.

* * *

            Once he got home, Levi set all his binders and documents onto the coffee table before making a beeline for his drawers and then the bathroom, twisting on the shower faucet for the water to warm. He stepped in immediately once the temperature was just right, sighing in pleasure and relief as he felt his body physically relax, clearing his mind of the day’s hectic schedule and tomorrow’s stressful event.

            After a few minutes, though, Eren’s nervous expression came into his mind again and Levi snapped his eyes open, frowning. There was no doubt that Eren was interested in him, now that he seemed to debate kissing Levi earlier in the car, and it was unsettling to Levi. He didn’t want to lead the boy on, but there wasn’t much he did that warranted “leading him on.” Levi’s frown deepened, and he inhaled deeply as he turned around and stuck his head entirely under the spray of the shower head, wetting his head and then lathering shampoo into it. He wasn’t going to think about that right now.

            Stepping out of the shower, refreshed with a warm tingle to his skin, Levi dressed and remembered his phone, walking a little faster than normal to grab it and open the text that Erwin sent him, his reply long overdue.

            [[Sorry. I was. Did you need something?]]

            He stared at his message, wondering if that question seemed wrong, but he didn’t know how else to reply. He wanted Erwin to keep the conversation going, and this was the only way he really knew how. They weren’t people for long messages, or conversations.

            Sighing, Levi sent the text and set his phone at his bedside drawer, heading to his bathroom to wash his face. When he returned, toweling once more at his hair, he checked his phone in vain—it must have been late, or really early over in Europe—and crawled into bed, slightly disheartened that he’d missed the chance to speak with Erwin.

            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do tell me what you think, and whether this is confusing/unrealistic to you! I love hearing your opinions. ;D


	3. Chapter 2 (Part I - Unfaithful)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And he fell deeper. 
> 
>  
> 
> _I should have saw it coming.  
>  I should have known.  
> But you were gone from my sight._

 After their first pitiful late-night dinner of Subway sandwiches a few days ago, Eren had somehow gotten Levi’s number and started texting him regularly. Levi deduced it was Kirschstein, and thoroughly put the boy in his place about giving _Levi’s_ contact information away so easily like that, until he sighed exasperatedly at the stutters and simply said, “I’ll let you go this time. Don’t try it again.”

Levi found that he didn’t dislike receiving texts from Eren, at least.

Erwin had replied to him later in the morning the next day, with a simple note about how he’d wanted to call Levi so that he could hear his voice, but he couldn’t do that now because he’s on his way to oversee a promotional event over in France.

Once again, Levi’s heart did some painful constricting and expanding at each new sentence. He wanted to tell Erwin that he missed his voice, too—his face, his smell. All of it. It’d be no good letting Erwin know that, though, since Levi thought it’d probably serve to put more pressure on Erwin than anything. Levi decided he doesn’t need to make Erwin more stressed than he needed to be; Erwin shouldn’t be worrying about him.

His phone beeped, and Levi jumped, grabbing for it immediately—Erwin’s the only one who ever texts him—until he saw Eren’s name across the notification box and he his heart dropped. He'd forgotten someone else had started to text him regularly.

Sighing, his heart calming to a normal rate as he slumped into his couch, he read the text.

[[Hey! you busy?]]

Glancing over his opened laptop and scattered papers, Levi supposed he was.

[[Somewhat]]

He waited a few seconds, staring blankly at the screen, until he thought the conversation was over and set his phone aside. Shortly afterward, it buzzed another time, vibrating loudly on the table.

[[Wanna go watch a movie?]]

Levi frowned down at the question, mildly baffled that Eren was asking him. He didn’t think the boy had the guts in him to act even a bit boldly, seeing as he couldn’t hold Levi’s eyes for long before dropping his gaze to the floor and muttering. Perhaps that was what he looked like right now, nervous with his knuckles hinting at white, stuffing his phone under his pillow or something even as he hid behind the consistent monotone of electronic communication.

And of course, that wasn’t far from what Eren was really doing.

He sat at his desk, biting at his knuckles as he dared not to take his eyes away from his phone, or else he’d probably screech in anticipation and anxiety when he heard it go off again. _If_ it went off, to be honest. His mind was going a mile a second, zigzagging from what if he _does_ answer to what if he doesn’t and then if he does, would he say yes? Oh god, how he wished— _hoped—_ Levi would say yes.

“Eren, what did he say?”

Armin’s voice was concerned as the boy drew nearer, and Eren pried his eyes away from his phone and his knuckles from his teeth, leaning heavily back into his chair and dropping his head down to stare at Armin upside down.

His friend sighed, hooking his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans, and addressed Eren from there, in that position.

“You look like you’re about to die.”

“Armin,” Eren groaned, “I _am_ about to die.”

“No you’re not.”

Then, Armin was plopping onto Eren’s bed, adjacent to his desk, and Eren finally pulled himself forward and thrust himself straight onto the bed, belly first, and slammed his face into the sheets. He groaned again.

“I swear. He’s amazing.” His voice was muffled by the bed, and Eren was glad because his ears were probably going red already.

“What’s so different about him?”

Armin’s voice was gentle, and Eren felt himself growing fonder of his best friend by the minute because he never was one to judge. He had such a clear head on his shoulders that Eren sometimes wondered if he really wasn’t an old man reincarnated with all his memories intact.

“Like, _look_ at him. His style is so good. There’s just something about him. I don’t know. Oh, god. His voice, too. Have you _heard_ his voice?” Eren half-groaned, half-whined that last question.

He stuffed his face into the sheets, trying to burrow farther and hide his words even more. He didn’t dare look at Armin.

When Armin opened his mouth to reply, though, Eren’s phone went off and the boy was up in a millisecond, scrambling to his desk for the phone. Armin watched with curious and slightly worried eyes.

Eren stared, his own eyes growing wider by the second, and suddenly he pumped his fist into the air as a huge grin split his lips. He spun, chucking his phone to the side and grabbing Armin by the shoulders, gripping so tightly that Armin winced.

“He said sure! He said _sure!_ Oh, god—”

Armin gave him a wry smile, rubbing gingerly at his shoulder once Eren picked up his phone again and started typing. He watched, thinking this all through, until he said, “I heard he has a boyfriend already.”

Eren paused, having sent his reply just now, and pursed his lips. “I know.” He hoped Armin wouldn’t judge—even though he knew Armin wouldn’t—and he turned to his friend with a meek, borderline helpless expression. “It’s okay to just hang out, though, isn’t it?”

Armin stared at him with a neutrally, betraying nothing about what he’s thinking. He sighed, defeated. He put a hand on Eren’s shoulder and said, “Don’t get your hopes up.”

Eren only smiled wryly at him.

. . .

Levi had to wonder what he was doing. And thinking. He’d agreed to Eren, even though he knew the boy had the beginnings of feelings for him. Throwing his head back against the couch, Levi stared without seeing at nothing in particular, his mind whirling loudly. Erwin hadn't contacted him today, making Levi wonder what he was up to and just how hard he was working. From the start, Levi had noticed the workaholic in his boyfriend (then-acquaintance). It was a charming aspect at the time—not that it wasn't now—but the longer Levi was with Erwin, the more worried he'd get at times. Erwin was an idiot who didn't know when to rest, if it wasn't for Levi who forced him to bed.

A smile crept on Levi's face as he remembered it—the first time when he managed to pull Erwin back to bed with him at some inopportune time in the night. They'd argued before, with Levi stalking to bed in fury, ignoring Erwin the entire time only to snuggle up to his boyfriend when he finally felt the other side of the bed dip to the man's weight.

Levi realized he had to change tactics. A few days after that, Levi didn't bother persuading Erwin. He'd just padded over to the stubborn hard worker, set a hand around his forearm until Erwin glanced up, and crawled into his lap. With a long, contented sigh, Levi had said, “You can do your work like this. At least let me sleep with you, asshole.”

Erwin was left speechless, a frown on his face as he tried to reason with Levi. “Dear, I'll finish soon.”

“Fuck you,” Levi spat. “That's what you always say.” He knew the pet name was not a term of endearment right now; Erwin was trying to hold himself back.

“I can't work like this.”

“I can't sleep like that,” Levi countered.

He pulled back, his body covering Erwin' laptop screen as he stared defiantly at his boyfriend. The silence was pregnant with tension, strung tightly and ready to snap at the wrong word or move, and the seconds felt like minutes.

Erwin caved first, sighing in defeat as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against Levi's shoulder. The shorter man reflexively carded a hand through the mess of blond locks in front of him, petting Erwin the way they both loved.

“Can we sleep now?” Levi asked, his fingers twirling and playing with his boyfriend's hair. Erwin nodded his consent, breathing deeply one more time before he quickly pecked Levi's lips, closed his laptop, and hefted Levi up before he could protest.

“Yeah.” Erwin dumped Levi onto the bed unceremoniously, but Levi didn't care because he was soon wrapped up tightly and comfortably in strong arms.

The memory was not good, Levi realized with a frown, because it only made him remember just how much he missed Erwin's touch with each passing day. He felt pathetic, and it was probably a sign that he should find other things to distract himself with.

In that moment, his phone buzzed again, taking him by surprise.

[[it'll b a surprise let's go to the one at the mall]]

Ah, yes. Eren. It wouldn't hurt to spend more time with him.

. . .

It had been ages since Levi stepped foot into the theatre of a mall, crowded with teenagers and couples and families bumping elbows here and there. Looking around, he couldn't find Eren in the busy hustle around him. It wasn't until he spotted the enthusiastic waving of a long arm and a mop of shaggy brown hair that he recognized the boy. Their eyes met—they must have—as Eren settled back onto his heels to wait for Levi to make his way over.

Eren looked down at him with a soft smile on his face, and Levi kept his usual scowl since he didn't know what to make of that look in his eyes. Levi decided to ignore it for now.

“Ready? I already got our tickets,” Eren beamed, straightening his back as he stuffed his hands farther into his pockets.

Levi stared, surprised that Eren had decided to pay, but in retrospect, that probably shouldn't have been surprising at all. “I'll pay you back,” he grumbled.

“No need.”

Eren dismissed him, turning around right away before Levi could argue, and led the way towards the concessions stands, pulling his wallet out already to—what Levi suspected—buy popcorn. What a cliché move.

He stepped up, set a hand on his wrist, and said, “I'll buy.”

“But—”

“No.”

At Levi's word, Eren shrank aside with a poorly contained pout, which Levi noticed in the corner of his eye. He paid it no attention, hugging the tub of popcorn around his chest and handing Eren a drink, raising a brow at his dejected expression before nodding for him to lead the way.

Eren seeemed to bounce back quickly, and Levi had to wonder if it was his youth or simply his personality. Either way, it was refreshing. Levi rarely had anyone who could handle his brusque attitude, much less be so unaffected by it. As they took their seats in the higher section of the theatre, Levi settled himself beside Eren, holding the popcorn between them.

Levi appreciated that Eren remained quiet throughout the movie, which turned out to be some crime-thriller-mystery plot, and Levi had to give Eren some credit because he'd expected something worse. Maybe more of those exploding-cars-and-sex-scenes movie.

Halfway into the film, though, after Eren had taken their snack into his lap a while ago, Levi felt a hand take his. His attention to the film immediately halted as he glanced down at where his hand was. It'd been a while, really, since Levi had physical contact of any sort with someone. Erwin had been gone for far too long. Eren's fingers were warm in his, slightly sweaty, and Levi stared at their hands because he was at a loss for what he should do. His fingers remained loose. While he didn't return the hold, he didn't particularly feel the need to pull away, either.

It was an innocent gesture enough, wasn't it? It didn't mean anything deep. Nothing bad.

So until the end of the movie, they stayed like that: Levi's hand in Eren's, one holding back and the other holding on.

The rest of the month went like that. Eren would ask Levi out somewhere, Levi would agree, and they'd generally have a good time. In between, Levi would receive a text or two from Erwin, but as the days dragged on, Levi found himself growing angry at his boyfriend. He'd returned to the city a week ago, but still hadn't mentioned a thing about coming to visit Levi. The latter's patience was wearing thin, especially as he didn't do anything about the lingering touches Eren gave him from time to time, which he pretended not to notice. They meant nothing. At least, that was what he kept telling himself. They meant nothing.

Levi refused to let himself think of it as anything but a friendly touch, because there was no way he could fancy anyone but Erwin. He repeated that to himself every time he went home after spending a day, an evening, or a night with Eren, following the boy here and there and smacking him upside the head once in a while, but the brunet would only complain jokingly and smile at him with such happiness in his eyes that Levi had to look away and frown. He wasn't leading the boy on. It was nothing.

With Eren, though, it was now, and never 'then.' With Erwin, it was always then nowadays, as it felt like Levi never saw him anymore, and the only thing about Erwin that had been making him smile was the memory that cropped up time and again whenever he did something. It was no good.

He was with Eren at the arcade now, the loud dinging and shouting and voices plugging their ears as Levi stood behind Eren and watched him roll a ball into one of the target holes. The boy pumped his fists as it rolled into the middle, a slither of tickets shooting out from the side.

“You're pretty good,” Levi commented, crossing his arms.

“Yeah?” Eren smiled at him.

Levi nodded minisculely. “Didn't think brats like you still come here.”

“Of course I do!” Eren's expression mimicked that of a ruffled bird. “I love it here.” His tone mellowed as he stared straight into Levi's eyes, making the man avert his gaze and huff.

Levi's jaw slackened, his mouth opening slightly as if he was about to speak, but then he stopped and patted for his phone, pulling it out as he ignored Eren momentarily.

Eren waited patiently, watching as Levi swiped at the screen, checking something which Eren saw was most likely a text. His heart dropped, wondering what—or who—was so important that Levi had to check it with such a serious expression on his face. It couldn't be his—his boyfriend, when Levi looked like that, could it?

In fact, it _was_ Erwin. Levi glared at the screen, feeling a surge of anger well in him at Erwin because the man had neglected to contact him in a _week,_ and then Levi only grew more frustrated with himself because he was acting like a clingy brat. He considered replying that he was busy, but then he couldn't argue against the part of him that missed Erwin too much. In the end, he sent:

[[Nine, tonight.]]

When he glanced up, stuffing his phone back inside his pocket, Eren was staring at him with a concerned look in his eyes, and Levi had to give him a mild, reassuring smile. He patted the boy's arm briefly.

“Is everything okay?” Eren asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, everything's good. But let's go.”

Levi couldn't bear to look at the split second of raw emotion flashing across Eren's face before he got control of it again. Somehow, the boy seemed crestfallen at the prospect of having to end their day's events.

“Yeah, okay.”

It wouldn't do either of them any good to stay much longer anyway. It didn't take long to drop Eren off, but as Levi parked against the sidewalk, thinking that Eren would just get out the car with a thank you like usual, the boy sat still right where he was. It wasn't that Levi was in a rush anyhow, but it was peculiar, so he parked the car and pulled the e-brake, leaning forward slightly to get a closer look at Eren's downcast eyes.

“Hey,” Levi said, never one for words.

Eren bit his lower lip, wringing his hands as he avoided Levi's gaze, peeking up once before dropping it down again. Worry prickled at Levi's skin, and he was about to reach over to set a hand on Eren's shoulder, but the boy beat him.

Eren's head snapped up abruptly, shocking Levi still for a second, and that was enough. Eren's hand flew behind Levi's head and held on, pulling him in, and Eren tilted his head to place a quick, lopsided kiss to Levi's lips. It was a hushed and hurried, “Sorry—thank you,” before Eren was snapping off his seat belt and sliding out the door. He bent down, barely peeking in, and said, “Thank you. Uh, I—uh, yeah. Sorry. Thanks. Um, text me. Please.” Then, he rushed off into his house without another glance back.

Levi stared at his retreating back until it disappeared behind the front door. Eren just kissed him. After this entire time of telling himself that nothing was wrong, Eren just kissed him. Levi slumped into his car seat, breathing deeply as he pressed two fingers to his lips, and groaned. Eren just kissed _him._

And Levi didn't entirely dislike it. He scoffed, a smile curling his lips, as he thought how endearing it actually was that Eren seemed so nervous. Was Levi really someone to be nervous over?

Levi drove home in a bubbly mood, wondering what Eren was thinking and what he might be doing now. He imagined the boy was probably blushing and rolling around, groaning in embarrassment.

(He wasn't too far off.)

When he arrived home, at his apartment, the smile fell off Levi's face.

He just remembered that Erwin was coming tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Augh, I take forever to write 'cause I don't think I do the characters justice. ;_;
> 
> Do tell me what you think so far! Too fast? Unrealistic? Confusing? Static? Let me know how I can improve... XD


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